When No Isn’t Yes and Yes Isn’t Yes

Handwritten Yes! graffiti side of brick buildingApparently, the rebellion continues.

I was worried about missing two Letters.

Ha! This makes five weeks since the last one.



How did that happen?

More importantly, what gives?


All ready and excited to write last week … and shingles start blowing off the garage roof.

Then I come down with the flu.

Might as well toss in an automatic payment being rejected because of glitches in their system.

All I could do was laugh.

What little mental capacity I had dwindled into a drop or two.

How did I get here?


I know things like year-end accounting and sick cats have consumed a ton of brain cells.

Admittedly, I’ve been doing my fair share of procrastinating.

Pushing off year-end accounting has become somewhat of a tradition.

Mostly I’ve been rolling with instead of controlling what comes along.

Working away at getting things off my plate that needs to go.

Whatever the cause that delays writing, I’m tired of things getting in the way and tired of being tired.


One good outcome from the flu is finding some clarity.

When you spend all those hours a day laying down, only the truly important stuff gets done.

Around here that covers the cats are fed, litter boxes are clean, you were able to eat something and appointments moved.

As I slowly return to the world of the living, all that’s been left off to the sides stand out like a sore thumb.

Emails, TV shows, social media, communities, training, purchases are all under scrutiny.

This could result in some major clutter clearing.


But it doesn’t solve the bigger issue at play.

There will always be more fires to fight.

More deadlines to meet.

More things I’ve let on my plate to clear off.


Early last week I was reminded of the true shift that needs to take place.

While catching up on the new show New Amsterdam (now on the keep or let go list), [spoiler alert] there was a discussion between Max and Helen about Max’s cancer treatment.

Helen: “You’re going to have to prioritize.”

Max: “You mean start saying no.”

Helen: “I meant start saying yes, to you.”




My head cranked up from the laptop screen.

That’s it.

Why I’m so tired.

Tired of saying no all the time.

Tired of pushing against other things.

When was the last time I said yes – as in all-in yes?

The type of yes that makes saying no super easy.


Sounds simple enough, but committing to that yes is tougher than it looks.

What you don’t want is far, far easier to identify.

And dealing with all those things you don’t want makes you feel good about being busy.

Except it’s a bit (or a lot) of an avoidance technique.

Because saying no doesn’t mean saying yes either.

You could get every no item off your plate and still be left directionless.

Or waiting for the shoe to drop with the next no that needs to be handled.


Truly saying yes is deeper than saying yes to everything.

That’s a good way to open yourself to new experiences and test the waters for what you might like.

After that, you still have to yes to what you truly desire.

You might want to say yes to a bunch of things and still feel stuck from all the choices.

The thrill and excitement of something new won’t necessarily carry you through the tough times when the shininess wears off.

There’s more work to be done understanding what’s fun and what’s you.


Saying yes to you is sourced in a knowing that isn’t easily captured in words.

It can involve giving yourself permission,

admitting what you desire,

not knowing exactly what it looks like,

or how to get there,

letting go of what’s working (or so we think),

taking a leap of faith,

being willing to trip up and bruise a knee,

take the long route,

and get to know ourselves all over again.


There comes a point where a life of no isn’t enough.

You have to say yes.

Yes to opening new doors and stepping through.

To you.

You are a matter of when, not if.


Are you feeling the nudges and pokes asking you to say yes?




These past weeks have highlighted the time has come to stop focusing on all the no’s and say yes to make a significant shift in the energy of 2019.

Otherwise, the best-laid plans and intentions will be just that – plans and intentions at the mercy of whatever next needs to be dealt with.

I need to heed the inner pokes to Listen even more deeply and get a little bit more honest with myself.


If you’re interested in exploring the question more deeply yourself or want to get to the heart & soul of what’s ahead for next year, join me in Stepping Outside.

We’ll spend 11 days together in a relaxed virtual online retreat setting getting curious, having fun and creating shifts for a different 2019.

What better way to ring in the new year than to prepare the way for what’s beyond imagination.


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Lorraine Watson - on rustic porch

chief nudging officer


Crazy for cats and potatoes, Lorraine's insatiable curiosity of Life leads her to question, explore and push beyond the box. A self-professed "left-brained creative big picture" type, she has an intuitive knack for seeing beyond and beneath first appearances while at the same time nerding out on the details. Most of all she sees and holds others in their highest until they can see it for themselves.

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