My Story

Been there, been that

You know how you come across people who somehow knew since they were ‘yea high’ what they wanted to be when they grew up.

That wasn’t me.

For the longest time I couldn’t figure out why they were so lucky when I didn’t have a clue.

Not knowing, and not deciding, what I wanted led to a life not my own.

Options in high school were filled with courses my sister loved and I failed miserably.  In university a computer science degree was the best of the uninteresting for work potential.

Don’t pass up an opening with a large corporation.

I dove in and gave my all waking hours – and many nights – to achieve somebody else’s goals.   A shiny new job switch quickly tarnished into being taken for granted in worse circumstances.

Solution. Take control of my life, go out on my own – yes, that must be the answer.

Not so fast

Being your own boss doesn’t guarantee work is more enjoyable, better options are available, or you have freedom.  The rules may change, but the game remains the same.

I was being pushed from inside to change. I knew there was something more – to me, and life.

But what? And how?

Ping!

Back in 1995-1996, I lived through my Lost Year, trying anything and everything in order to find “me”. My “it.”

A light bulb finally went off with the realization I’d been living not just a Lost Year, but a Lost Life – triggered by a single decision made in grade 11.

I. wasn’t. going. to. be. a. doctor.

In an instant, the path I had always seen so clearly ahead turned into not knowing who I was.

All because I didn’t know what I was going to do.

I really could have used Me now, back then

I would have told me it was okay to not know.

Not knowing didn’t have to suck so bad.

There might even be some cool things to discover by sticking around.

What I needed most was someone to show me how to take the time to know my unique self, who I really was being.

There’s no point adding up the time, effort and money spent doing all the things I tried to relieve the frustration.

Far too depressing.

After all that investment, I was no further ahead in finding “me” or what my purpose was supposed to be.

Let’s just say there was a lot of backtracking, going in circles and being frozen in place until ...

Another light bulb went off

What I do does not define who I am or why I’m here.

Living a true life is about being who I am, not about what I do.

Being who I am changes what I do.

What I do is an expression of who I am being.

Now what I see from where I am now that I couldn’t see then – all those years spent seeking and searching … I wasn’t really lost after all.

I was hiding out.

Waiting to dis cover myself again.

What's up

The yearning to be yourself, to live your true life, to want “something more” is perfectly normal.

They’re signs you’re in a growth spurt.

"Growing up" doesn’t stop when you turn 18.

Or 25.

Or 40.

Or 80.

 

You couldn’t stop yourself from learning to talk, or run, or get taller.

You won’t stop your inner growth either.

It’s a matter of when, not if.

Don't go it alone

Going through this transition wasn’t meant to be done alone.

This business of dis covering who you really are feels very risky and very vulnerable.

When you’re by yourself, it’s too easy to only see one perspective, to get discouraged and give up too soon. Heck, by yourself it’s so easy to not even start (again).

As an infant and child, you had your parents, siblings and extended family to encourage, support and celebrate with you.

Now is no different. You need the power of a community to support, encourage, and brush off the dirt when you stumble. And of course celebrate!

That’s where I come in.

I'm here to ...

My role is to create a safe space for you to explore and allow your true self to come through. If that was an easy task, you would have already done it by now. I bring a fresh set of eyes, nudge, ask questions, call BS, and nudge some more.

but not ...

I’m not here to hold you accountable. The only accountability worth having is to yourself. I’m here to work damn hard when you’re ready to take on ups and downs of change and becoming the real true you.

Most important of all

I’m here to see the real you and hold you in that truer place until you can see the real you too.

Bringing your full and unique self to everything you do changes everything.

Everything.

Everything starts with you.

You are the “something more” you have been looking for and that’s why we’re here.

Core Values

The best way I know how to navigate through the uncertainty of this journey comes back to three core principles:

Safe Space

What and who we’re surrounded by deeply influences our perceptions, behaviors, and willingness to risk being vulnerable. You can’t go where you’re not willing to risk.

Simplicity

The answers you’re looking for don’t need fancy giftwrap and bows. They’re all around when you practice how to look differently at every day things.

Curiosity

Being inquisitive transforms the way you look at the world from trying to find what is missing to what else is there to know. Instead of striving for mastery of life, you become an explorer of mystery.

oh, and then

Of course, there's a lot more to say about this journey of inner exploration.  If you find these three ideas resonate, you may be interested in the top 10 beliefs that frame my work.

Want to continue your journey together?

Your own Letters From home is a perfect place to begin
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off topic

Lorraine Interviews Lorraine

When you’re in deep conversations about growth and change, a lot of day-to-day stuff will never come up. If you’re curious about the mundane aspects of Lorraine, you might be interested in the interview of me, by me. If you have questions to add, please fire them off to me.

For emphasis and remembering what we’re up to. The answers are right here. We are right here. When we dis cover ourselves, we reveal what has been hidden from view. To search or seek out something implies what we’re looking for is out there somewhere, separated from us.

On behalf of everyone else, why do you put a space in dis cover?

Acoustic guitar.  Soccer.  Volleyball.  Squash.  Photography. Taiko Drumming.

Which begs the question, why am I not doing these?

What would you do even if you’d never be good at it?

For starters … Sabrina (1954 and 1995), Sound Of Music, Apollo 13, Rudy, The American President, Kindergarten Cop, The Blind Side, October Sky, Regarding Henry, The Jazz Singer (1980), Brigadoon, Seven Brides For Seven Brothers, Band Of Brothers, November Christmas, Miracle On 34th Street (1947), Little Women (1949), Young At Heart (1954), Meet Me In St Louis, 12 Days of Christmas Eve, Dangerous Minds, Stand And Deliver, Music Of The Heart, Mamma Mia!, Legally Blonde, Legally Blonde II, Pitch Perfect

How do I get anything done?

 

Thanks to Sandra for the question.

What movies do you eagerly watch for the gazillionth time?

I tend to think people would describe me as a pretty ordinary, regular, run-of-the-mill, red wine over beer sort of person. Pulling off frills and foo-foo Does. Not. Work. any better than unicorns and crystals and chanting. Although, occasionally unicorns do make an appearance when I’m not looking. Did I mention a very dry wit?

No time for modesty, how would you describe yourself?
Lorraine jumps out from behind tree

I can create a few useful items with a sewing machine, but can’t darn a sock.  I can pack a dishwasher, but neither a car trunk nor moving box. I can build walls and wire a basement, but can’t get an accurate reading out of a stud finder or tape measure. Sudoku is a mind twist beyond pain thresholds, but cryptograms or a rebus are fun. I was horrible learning piano and guitar, but I like a lot of old musicals.  I made the chorus of my junior high production of Oklahoma! And had my nose broken backstage. I have my Reiki Master level, have always heard, known, felt and seen “things”, and couldn’t be further away from woo-woo.

What would most people be surprised to know about you?

Kalinda Sharma (The Good Wife), Ziva David (NCIS), Col. Samantha Carter (Stargate: SG1), Rick Mercer

Who would you want with you in a dark alley?

Potatoes. The smell of air after a hard rain and wood burning in a fireplace or in the lumber yard. Pondering. Being at the bottom of a kitty pile. Great conversations, especially while eating great food. Learning. Butter tarts. Not cooking. Did I mention cats?

In an ode to "Sound of Music," what are some of your favourite things?

Yikes. With a big gulp … I’m not artistically inclined and rarely listen to music. I don’t get most poetry and I’m starting to read more fiction. I don’t meditate formally. I’m terrible at networking and small talk. Crowds are intimidating. I’d rather be home than go out. I can ruin most jokes and lost my mathematical aptitude after graduating grade 12.

What do you most NOT want people to find out about you?

Rapid Fire - Round 2

(hover over or tap to reveal the answer)

summer

or

winter

winter

driver

or

passenger

driver

mountains

or

prairies

rolling prairies

rock concert 

or

lounge act

lounge lizard

PDFs

or

MP3s

PDFs

rain

or 

snow

snow

pretzels

or

potato chips

plain ripple rules

chaotic

or

orderly

Oh, to dream a choice is possible

snakes

or 

spiders

small, mind-their-own-business spiders

construction

or

design

design